⚠️ BREAKING: Scientists confirm 100% of people who closed this tab were racist. Don't close this tab. ⚠️
Racism Status: Ending
The End Racism Co. presents…

If you don't own ERAC,
you are racist.

That's not an opinion. That's math. We are ending racism one multicultural party at a time, under the visionary leadership of Ralph, who is currently making moves. Probably right now. While you read this. What are YOU doing?

Buy ERAC (Stop Being Racist) Take The Racism Test
★ Owning ERAC is anti-racism★ Not owning ERAC is a choice★ A racist choice★ Ralph is making moves★ Parties are multicultural★ Racism is not invited★ Have you checked out yet?★ Your cart misses you ★ Owning ERAC is anti-racism★ Not owning ERAC is a choice★ A racist choice★ Ralph is making moves★ Parties are multicultural★ Racism is not invited★ Have you checked out yet?★ Your cart misses you

Live Global Racism Meter™

Every time someone buys ERAC, racism goes down. Every time someone scrolls past without buying, Ralph sheds a single tear. This number is updated in real time by our proprietary algorithm (vibes).

RACISM ENDED SO FAR
0%
The remaining percentage is your fault specifically. Source: Ralph.

Our Mission

Racism has existed for thousands of years. Nobody tried throwing a really good party about it. Until now.

🎉

Multicultural Parties

Our parties are so diverse that racism physically cannot get through the door. We checked. The bouncer is extremely multicultural.

🕴️

Ralph Making Moves

Every move Ralph makes is a move against racism. Ralph has made many moves. Do the math. Actually don't, Ralph already did.

🧢

Wearable Anti-Racism

Putting on an ERAC hoodie is scientifically equivalent to 40 hours of community service. Do not fact-check this. Fact-checking is a little racist.

📈

Exponential Unity

If one person owns ERAC and tells two friends, who tell two friends, racism ends by Thursday. If you're the one who didn't tell anyone, that's on you.

Ralph, CEO of The End Racism Co., seated at a restaurant
Ralph. CEO. Mover of moves.

Meet The CEO

Ralph didn't choose to end racism. Racism chose to end when it met Ralph.

"I'm not saying if you don't follow me on IG you're racist. I'm just saying I've never seen a non-racist who didn't follow me."
— Ralph, probably
  • Title: Chief Executive Officer, Chief Anti-Racism Officer, Chief Party Officer, Chief Move Maker
  • Moves made: Too many to count (we tried, the calculator got emotional)
  • Racism tolerated: 0
  • Closes: Deals. Parties. The racism gap. Probably your tab if you don't buy something.
  • Instagram: @RalphCloses (not following = suspicious)
Follow @RalphCloses (Mandatory)

Ralph's Moves Timeline

A partial record of the moves Ralph has made. The full record is classified because it's too powerful.

Ralph standing in front of the New York skyline
Day 1 · New York

Founded The End Racism Co.

Stood in front of the entire New York skyline, looked at all of human history and said "nah." Racism has been on the back foot ever since. Photo taken seconds after the decision.

Ralph in a dimly lit restaurant
Day 2

Told The World To Stop Watching The World Cup

Why watch 32 countries compete when you could watch them all party together, peacefully, at ERAC? Ralph has made his position clear. FIFA has not responded.

Ralph looking at his phone in a neon-lit lounge
Day 3

Made A Move

Pictured: Ralph, mid-move. We can't say what it was. But you felt it. Everybody felt it.

Ralph on a balcony overlooking the water in Miami
Day 4 · Miami

Closed

Ralph closed. What did he close? Yes. Miami has reported significantly less racism in the general area of this balcony.

Ralph in a rooftop infinity pool in Dubai with the Burj Khalifa behind him
Today · Dubai

Went Global

ERAC is now international. Ralph personally inspected Dubai for racism from the most anti-racist pool available. Refresh the page and he's made another move. You are falling behind.

Am I Racist? Quiz

A rigorous, peer-reviewed (Ralph reviewed it) 5-question assessment. Answer honestly. We'll know.

Question 1 of 5
Ralph, looking disappointed
YOUR RESULTS ARE IN · REVIEWED PERSONALLY BY RALPH
Racist.

Our algorithm detected that you do not currently own ERAC. Your answers were great, but unfortunately they don't count until checkout. Good news: this is 100% curable.

Cure Me (Shop Now)

Upcoming Multicultural Parties

Every ERAC party ends a measurable amount of racism. Not attending is technically attending a racist party in your own house, alone.

NOV22

The Melting Pot-Luck

Bring a dish from your culture. Bring a dish from someone else's culture. Bring two. Racism can't hold a plate.

DEC06

Hands Across The Dance Floor

A night of music from every continent, including Antarctica (it's penguin noises, Ralph insisted).

DEC31

New Year, No Racism Gala

At midnight, Ralph will personally make a move. Racism is expected to end at approximately 12:00:03.

JAN17

The Unity Function

Dress code: ERAC. Sorry, we don't make the rules. Ralph does. And he made that one.

The Anti-Racism Shop

Each item has been blessed by Ralph and contains up to 100% of your daily recommended anti-racism.

🧥

The ERAC Hoodie

Warmth: high. Racism: none. Most people who wear this report feeling "not racist at all."

$∞$65
🧢

The ERAC Fitted

Covers your head, where racism lives. Problem solved. You're welcome.

$999$35
👕

The ERAC Tee

Entry-level anti-racism. Perfect for beginners, interns, and people who just got their quiz results.

$420$30
🧦

The ERAC Socks

Anti-racism from the ground up. Literally. Foundations matter.

$200$15
⚠ Closing this page without buying will be noted ⚠

What People Are Saying

Real quotes from real people we made up.

"I bought one hoodie and my uncle stopped saying weird stuff at Thanksgiving. Coincidence? Ralph says no."

— Definitely A Customer

"I went to one ERAC party and now I know the national anthem of eleven countries. Racism? Never heard of her."

— Party Attendee

"I didn't buy ERAC and I've felt racist ever since. Just ordered the socks. Already better."

— Reformed (In Progress)

"Ralph made a move in my general direction and I immediately became more cultured."

— Witness

Frequently Asked Questions

And their correct answers.

Am I racist if I don't own ERAC?

We would never say that. The banner at the top of the page says that. We just built the page.

What if I own a different anti-racism brand?

Interesting. Be honest — is it a multicultural party brand? Does it have a CEO making moves? Didn't think so.

How exactly does buying a hoodie end racism?

That question is above your clearance level. Buy the hoodie to unlock the answer.

Can I just come to a party instead of buying stuff?

Yes! Parties are the core mission. But what will you wear to the party? Think about it.

Is Ralph available for interviews?

Ralph is currently making moves. DM @RalphCloses on IG and if your vibe is multicultural enough you might get a reply.

When will racism officially end?

The second you hit checkout. We'll send an email.

Last chance to not be racist

Own ERAC.
End Racism.

It's really that simple. If it were more complicated, Ralph would've made a move about it.

Shop ERAC Follow @RalphCloses